A family dinner

Why does it have to turn out so fucking bad when brother ask all of us to go out for a dinner on sunday. It is rare enough. I would say, unless I have an appointment that will cost me a lot of money, if i skipped it. Else I will go.

To me, no matter how broke I can get, family is the most important thing to me.
But that isn’t what my mum thinks.

Brother got his pay, he wanna spend it on the family first before he spend it else where. Since I know he fucking won’t save by the end of the month and it’s kind of like a silent acknowledgment between us. So when brother ask us out for dinner tomorrow (or practically another 16hours more). I won’t hesitate and just go. Unless I have a promise date with my best friends, appointment which will make me earn money instantly or job related.

Supposedly tomorrow mum and I going for a fair at a CC located in Bukit Gombak in the evening. But brother asked us for dinner. So I was thinking, yes, going to the fair might make me have the chance to go and linger around with other people and get some random stranger’s contact and try to work out my network. However, I do know that 100% I won’t know what to do and just end up walking around wasting my time eating ice-cream or some junk food till late in the night.

If to compare a night out with people that mostly I don’t know and are of older age, or having a nice Japanese dinner with my family, I will choose the latter.

But my mum doesn’t think that way. She kept insisting that she have to go for the fair. I’m fine, but for brother it wasn’t that simple. He got angry and I can slightly understand.

In the past, when parents (or more like my mother) initiated an outing for family on a Sunday. But due to my brother’s job. He can’t have his Sunday free. So end up no choice but we have to go without him. But everything would be fine, if mum just kept her mouth shut after knowing the reason. But no, she won’t. She will say things like “Why he like that one? Can’t he just take a leave for us? It’s hard for a family to like go out together. Can’t he understand.. yadah yadah”

Come on, it is fine if u just complain to me and dad. But she doesn’t feel enough, she have to say it right in front of brother to us, and we can’t deny neither do we wanna agree. It’s damn hard for dad and me already.

So this time, brother got angry. So he said “Fine, next time I’m not asking you out for treats or anything like that anymore” I mean, after all she did choose that fair over the family. I was a little angered, but I tried my best to keep quiet.

But as my mum’s attitude, she just have to continue. Starting saying things like “I promised them, I cannot don’t go. Not like you, can don’t go…”  Implying that I break my promise, that sparked my flame. How many fucking times do I break my promises nowadays. Unless I’m really tired to that extend I can’t continue, or family problems or best friends. This is what I always believe. I can never treat that bunch of people higher than any one of those people above. Cause even without money, I have friends and family. That is what I want.

So naturally I will start shooting back at her. Now she started saying things like “We still have food in fridge, why not eat those and not go out eat…” Then I say, “Lunch la!” Then she will change to other things like “Aiya, why not go on other sundays right? Not that your brother cannot make it for those sundays” But the fact is, HE CAN’T.

And as a mother, SHE SHOULD KNOW. I can’t believe she said those words so lightly and not think through. Never once she speak with concerns for others. Never once she think out of her “Mother” box. Everything she see and think and acts are all in her “I’m a mother and this is what I should do and think and nothing can stop me from it” mindset.

Just because we are broke, doesn’t we can’t splurge on ourselves. I can understand if I were to continue spending more money on my family now, a lot of people will rain and pours words on me. Cause it’s just plain stupid to do that. But this time round, is my BROTHER. Someone who hardly treats people. Who hardly treat the WHOLE family infact.  I mean he still treat me for small meals and stuff la. Not that he is entirely bad.

But it’s like my mother doesn’t give my brother any courtesy. She just shun off the whole deal and one of the reason she told me later was even shitter. “Aiya, last time ask him go, he also don’t go. Now why must I go just because he asked” Then Dad and I was like (O.O) WE-CAN’T-FUCKING-BELIEVE-SHE-SAID-THAT look.

I mean I agree that my brother is stubborn and got quite a not so good characteristic. But to see him act nice and treat us good. Why reject the idea and not fully make use of it. Right? I mean, I’m not a person who will 赌气 with people, unless I hate that person or something. I don’t hate nor dislike him. Just that he can irritated and makes me angry just because of his effing attitude. But isn’t family about give and take? If he is such a stubborn ass, why not just take it all in when he happen to be nice. Right?

I am angry and it’s damn late now. Got to sleep. Tomorrow gonna rush a webpage and earn myself some extra cash. Night. (Hope to sleep soon)

Sadness

..are around the world. Is just whether we wanna ignore them and live on with our lives.

Was talking to brother about the Earth Hour event that is happening around the globe. on 28th March 2009 8.30PM (Local), people can join in by switching off their electricity for a full 1 hour.

Then brother started to rain down on this whole “environmentalist” thing.

Like how all those environmentalist drives normal fuel car, and not those “battery” operated ones, even though it cost a little more than normal fuel car. Plus how those big bosses (Or founders) of Environmental Organizations are driving big expensive cars. I mean, there are assholes out there, but I don’t understand why my brother want to keep insisting on this kind of facts, when we can ignore them and do our part.

He said that turning off the electricity for a hour is nothing, since we are saving a lot when we go to sleep every single day. I understand that, but by doing an extra hour, it’s like doing extra out of our own routine to make a little difference, even if it mean that we can only help to save another 20minutes of fuels when coming to generating electricity. At least it’s something.

Then he continue saying that if we all shuts off the electricity for that one hour, PUB will lose profit, which will cost someone their job in PUB, who knows that the person got fired, killed himself and cause that family a whole downturn in their lives and end up we all are the murderer of that family.

Then he continue saying that he is a realist. Means he will do something if it really does help. I mean, doesn’t doing something helps? Even if it meant something small??

He even mention like, he will do something, if the government start to tell the citizens that we are all going to do some actions to stop global warming. Then he said that everything will be fine as long as countries start accepting the idea of a nuclear generator for electricity. He said that is the only infinite power and it doesn’t pollute the environment, cause as long as it doesn’t explode, it won’t harm anything. But because countries like USA are afraid that other countries who got hold of the technology for nuclear power will create weapons instead of these environmental friendly generators. So they decided to not allow any other countries to have that technology.

I mean, I do understand how the fuck up politics are, that is why I believe we people should do a small step, at least, to make a big difference when everyone joins in.

But, as long as there are people who are like my brother, or uneducated people or selfish and deep down evil people. Very little people will stand out to make a difference.

I hate politics, I hate people who wait for other people to do something, I hate governments who keep their fucking mouth shut, so to keep themselves out of trouble even though the earth is on the verge of giving up on us.

A piece of news my friend in Australia sent me, Frog Eat Frog News, I feel scared, frog eat frogs. *shake head*

Had a chat with a friend only, since she came around and ask me about my msn nickname. Then told her a little general idea of what I was frustrated over and the following was kind of her “answer” which pretty much also proves why I feel so damn sick of people.

I say: hahaha~ mmmm idk, troubled over the whole mankind? =p

Friend…congrate on passing driving~ says:
oh well, to me, i just want to follow flow
i will not trouble my head
bet u are irritated with ppl like tis
anyway, no need to take it so hard ba

I say: haha… kinda. But i can’t blame. humans. haha. i try la…
but it can get really frustrating to know about all these and have to ignore them on purpose..

Friend…congrate on passing driving~ says:
if it is ez to change the world
i think we will be in heaven
but too bad, we are stucked in between

I say: hahah yeah…

The reason why I replied with hahah yeah… was because I didn’t wanna continue saying about my point of view to someone who doesn’t even bother. *sighs*

=====================================================
Anyway, a little news on the new game I’m hooked on in Facebook nowadays. It’s another creation by Playfish, called Restaurant City. Now I’ve reached level 14 and I’m ill treating Xinfu and Me (As the waitress/waiter). 5 cooks and 15 tables. Seriously I was observing them working for a few minutes. They never once stopped. Grab food, clean table, clean table, grab food, grab food, clean table, grab food, clean table clean table, grab food.. etc, they just keep on going and going and going. HAHA! Here’s a screen shot of my Restaurant.

My messy Restaurant xD

At the right bottom corner is where the door is located, I made it that way, so the customers have to waste loads of time just to get in and seat down. HOHO! =x

Now the RC had their items priced amended. The teleport stove (white/orange) used to be the most expensive one, still is, but was only for 1000 dollar. Now they revised it to 4000 each!!

I’m so hooked. HAHA! =p

Spooky

I seldom take quiz with my whole self relax. I took this, and the result spook me.
Too true to believe…

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don’t like conflict. Because you’re so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that’s why you’ll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don’t succeed. Don’t give up when you haven’t yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Took another one, this is about my future Mr Right and how our lives would be. I ROFL-ed on one of the result.

How will you choose your Mr Right?
You will make the most of being able to shop around for Mr Right. You love your freedom and will have a lot of fun learning about what sort of man you like. When you do find the guy for you, nobody will be able to keep you away from the church.

Who will be your future Mr Right?
Your real-life hero will be manly. He’ll be dependable, even financially. He will protect you and always respect your feelings. He’ll probably be quite a bit older than you.

When will you get married?
As soon as you fall in love, you’ll want to grab your man and hang on to him. You will probably marry very young, so it would be wise of you to think carefully before committing.

What sort of wife will you be?
You are a bit tricky. You might pretend to be a sensitive and caring wife in his eyes, but you’ll be ready to laugh at him behind his back and eventually you may even leave him for another man.

Will you and your husband have a good time together?
You and your spouse will choose to spend time on more romantic activities. You won’t end up quite as healthy, but you’ll have plenty of fun going out for drinks, watching concerts or playing cards at home with other friends.

What will your children be like?
Your kids will be very naughty. They will often get into trouble but you will have a great time bringing these fun-loving kids up. They are lively and smart.

How loyal are you?
You get along very well with most guys. Sometimes your friendliness misleads others to think that you’re a bit of a flirt, but actually you’ve got a loyal heart. You’ll never have eyes for anyone except your beloved husband.

The House: follow the steps and you will understand why.
LOL the following is my result..

Here is the analysis:
You are sensitive and indecisive at times. You are a freedom lover and a strong person.

You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes.

When it comes to love, you shut yourself off. It’s difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside. You always have plans on your mind. This might cause a lot of stress if things don’t go the way you expect. You have a strong personality and you like to command, influence and control people.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. We also see that you are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. You don’t think much about yourself.

Another quiz on Working Style. So true!!

Your Working Style
You have a great deal of warmth, but may not show it until you know a person well. You keep your warm side inside, like a fur-lined coat. You are very faithful to duties and obligations related to ideas or people you care about. You take a very personal approach to life, judging everything by your inner ideals and personal values.

You stick to your ideals with passionate conviction. Although your inner loyalties and ideals govern your lives, you find these hard to talk about. Your deepest feelings are seldom expressed; your inner tenderness is masked by a quiet reserve.

In everyday matters you are tolerant, open-minded, understanding, flexible, and adaptable. But if your inner loyalties are threatened, you will not give an inch. Except for your work’s sake, you have little wish to impress or dominate. The people you prize the most are those who take the time to understand your values and the goals you are working toward.

Your main interest lies in seeing the possibilities beyond what is present, obvious, or known. You are twice as good when working at a job that you believe in, since your feeling adds energy to your efforts. You see the needs of the moment and try to meet them. You want your work to contribute to something that matters to you–human understanding, happiness, or health. You want to have a purpose beyond your paycheck, no matter how big the check. You are perfectionists whenever you care deeply about something.

You are curious about new ideas and tend to have insight and long-range vision. You are interested in books and language and are likely to have a gift of expression; with talent you may be excellent writers. You can be ingenious and persuasive on the subject of your enthusiasms, which are quiet but deep-rooted. You are often attracted to counseling, teaching, literature, art, science, or psychology.

The problem for you is that you may feel such a contrast between your inner ideals and your actual accomplishments that you may burden yourself with a sense of inadequacy. This can happen even when, objectively, you are being as effecive as others. It is important for you to find practical ways to express your ideals; otherwise you will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little. If you find no actions to express your ideal, you can become overly sensitive and vulnerable, with dwindling confidence in life and in yourself.

The Eating Test. I’m addicted to quizzes.

Here is the analysis:

You are generally a calm person. You get excited when your favorite band is in town, when you are going on a date with your partner or when you and your friends are dancing. Your friends mean everything to you. You hate it when the summer is over.

You like art, and some poetry. You can throw a party, or help a friend put one together. You usually have no trouble finding dates, but you occasionally hit a dry spell. You like the outdoors, usually, and rainy weather doesn’t bother you. You sometimes get jealous of people who are smarter or better looking than you, but you wouldn’t hold it against them if you got to know them. You are on good terms with your parents, even though they annoy you once in a while. People tend to think you are reliable and trustworthy. You like animals.

The Animal Test:-

Here is the analysis:

1. A kind of person you will be attracted to in a real life situation is those who are unbridled and free
2. In the process of courtship, the approach that makes you feel irresistible is being straightforward, and having your partner speak directly.
3. The impression you’d like to give to your lover is stylish.
4. One reason that would make you break up with your partner is insecurity.
5. The kind of relationship you’d like to build with your partner is a relationship that makes you always feel warm and in love.
6. Would you commit adultery? Society and morality worry you. You wouldn’t do anything wrong after marriage.
7. About marriage, you’ve always wanted to get married, but in fact, you don’t even know what it really is.
8. About love, at this moment, you think of love as a commitment for both parties.

HAHAHA!! Done this color and name quiz, is so wrong!! Look at the result below. ROFL!!

* The one who will never forget you is Nathaniel.
* The one who you can consider as your real friend is Pierce.
* The one you really love is Magdalene.
* This may be your soulmate: Dad. <– HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
* The one you will remember for the rest of your life is Cindy Lim.

I need

something. A break. A goal. Anything.

Sometimes I felt like Jeff Dunham. Contradicting myself every single time.

How I want money freedom, yet I’m easily contented.
How I want a boyfriend, yet I like being single.
How I want to go out every single day, yet I get really exhausted after a few days only.

It’s just bothering me. ARGH!!!

*lies on the floor and hope she dies, peacefully*

Masking Day

Bought the mask introduced by Yutaki, not gonna link his post.
Later he see these photos and got the shock of his life. HAHA!

Was fun doing it. But it’s damn late. Gonna wash around 1 plus am. -.-”

And here is how retarded and funny I look. HOHO!

(Cleans the black/white heads. AND I SEE THEMMMM)

HAHA Love this photo. Scary.
(Lighten all the spots and stuff, so will look “whiter”)

ROFL~ Ok I’m acting a little crazy now.
Went to Mag’s house to visit her days after her surgery.
See the way she moves, makes me feel so pain T_T

Bought her a bouquet of daisies. Really nice. She uploaded some photos on FB.
Waiting for my colleague to upload. She took a photo of me with the flowers

Shall update soon again. HAHA! Can’t wait for tomorrow!!
OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE HERE I COMEEEE!! *drools*

Tata!